Deal daily with people controllers can be quite exhausting and not always realise in a timely manner of the evil that we do. Learn more!
From one moment to the other, any one of us can be involved in a relationship toxic, because the patterns of behavior and dysfunctional are not always as obvious as we think. People controllers there are everywhere, in all ages, genders and social strata, so it is important to understand what distinguishes them.
People controllers resort to a whole set of strategies and tools that enable them to dominate others, especially those that they are closest to, and that often they do not realise that they are being controlled and manipulated.
Sometimes, the manipulation and emotional control is so complex that it takes the people that are being controlled to believe that they were extremely lucky to have someone who cares and controls them in such a way.
6 TYPICAL CHARACTERISTICS OF PEOPLE CONTROLLERS: PAY ATTENTION TO THE SIGNS!
1. TRY TO ISOLATE THE OTHER FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS
You can start subtle, but it is one of the main characteristics of the people controllers. Gradually, they may begin to complain of the amount of time you spend with a particular person on the phone, to criticize your friends, or try to put him against someone whom he trusted even then, to deprive you of your support network, so that each time it is easier to control and manipulate.
2. CRITICISM IS ALWAYS PRESENT
The criticism may start to be slight but are always present. The people’s controllers can criticize and try to change aspects of each other’s unique such as the way of dressing, way of talking, personal tastes, among others.
3. THE ACCEPTANCE AND AFFECTION ARE NOT UNCONDITIONAL
The praise, appreciation and acceptance are always the consequence of something and are rarely data unconditionally. People controllers tend to do with others never feel they are good enough.
4. DO NOT RECIPROCATE THE GOOD IN THEM
In all relationships stable and healthy there is a sense of reciprocity and care for the other is inherent in the relationship. With people controlling this is not always the case, since they seem to register all the faults of others, charging them later, as well as do not seem to feel the need to reciprocate when something good them it is directed, assuming it as an obligation on the part of the other.
5. THEY FEEL THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ALL OF THE OTHERS
In an extreme degree, people-controllers can spy, sniff, or even require to be constantly aware of the actions of others. The lack of trust in others, and the violation of the privacy of others are characteristics of the people controllers.
6. DIFFICULTY IN RESPECTING THE INDIVIDUALITY OF OTHERS
People controllers may not understand or respect the need that those close to them have time alone. Whenever the need of time alone or of greater individuality is expressed, the controlling person tends to make the other feel guilty.
People with characteristics controllers still tend to make others feel bad about their convictions and beliefs. Not discuss openly, allowing a new look about the world. On the contrary, criticize openly the opinion of others and try to impose his as the only one that is valid.
AS A CONCLUSION…
The desire to control others seems to be triggered by high levels of anxiety. People controllers, instead of looking for the source, and to overcome their fears and anxieties, protrude in the other to his emotional instability, blaming them for the discomfort felt.
The boost control works, often, as a protection against the vulnerability felt, there seem to be always aware and vigilant, so as not to seem vulnerable. Can be successful professionally, managing others and achieving the goals relentlessly.